how to handle technology during divorce

How to Handle Technology During Divorce

Social Media, including Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and even YouTube have changed the way we communicate, shop, socialize, date and divorce. In the most recent statistic, more than a third of Divorce Petitions contain the word Facebook, and 80% of attorneys in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers say they are using evidence from Facebook in their divorce litigation cases. Don’t be a statistic!


Handle Text Messages & Email Provocations

You can anticipate that the other parent will use another means of attempting to invoke fear in you, in terms of your position during these proceedings. This is the power of the text or the email, which is often utilized. They may engage in texting you abusive, threatening and inappropriate statements. Please do not respond to these text messages, as these messages are often presented to the Court.  Do not fall into this trap, suck it up, bang your head against the wall, but do not text back. Your response to this behavior will be considered by the Court, as well. In all circumstances, respond appropriately. If there is a need to respond, respond. If there is no need, because it has no relevance and is not related to something important, do not respond. In any event, always respond appropriately and in manner, which you would not be concerned about the Court viewing. The same goes for emails that are inappropriate, do not respond. Again, the Court can consider these emails, as it relates to a Parent’s ability to separate their own emotions, in the best interest of their child.


Stop the Drama During Divorce
The drama and abuse and fighting and inappropriate behavior that has gone on in the relationship prior to the initiation of action must immediately cease. The Courtroom is not a playground; the Courts do not want drama. Every single Judge will say to you “I’m not interested, I don’t want to see this kind of behavior and if I do, I will punish you both.”


Warning! Social Media Can be Used Against You

Another important thing to consider is Social Media. It happens all too frequently, that the parties’ post derogatory things on their Social Media, whether it be Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, you must avoid this behavior.  Do not post pictures of yourself drunk, partying, inappropriately dressed or with a third party holding your child. While this may set the other Party off like the space shuttle, it will do nothing to help your case.  


Change All of Your Passwords

In order to protect yourself from the other Parents obtaining information not otherwise intended for their viewing, change your email passwords and do not use computers that were jointly used in the past.  There is software out there that can read new passwords, also that can duplicate all of your email communication to another email. Make sure your phone is free of software that can duplicate your text messages, close down your iCloud or change accessed information.  Remember, if you have an IPAD, they often can show your communication that may be occurring on your phone. Children often take their IPad to the other parent’s house and the other Parent sees their private communication. Avoid this trap.  


Be Honest With Your Divorce Lawyer

 It is never a good thing for your lawyer to learn from the other lawyer, what is actually occurring in the dynamics of your relationship, from your former partner. The information provided to your Attorney is privileged information and cannot be shared with any other individual without your consent, under any circumstances. Some people believe that if they are not honest with their attorney, their attorney will fight differently or harder. They fear that sharing too much information with their lawyer may lead them to negotiate a deal that is not in their best interest. This is simply not the case; it could not be any further from the case. Information exchanged between the lawyer and the client, is key to a successful resolution. When you close the door to your lawyer’s office, there should be no secrets. If you feel the need to keep secrets, you should find a new lawyer.

Linda Jaffe, P.A.

Linda M. Jaffe, P.A. is the founder of the Divorce & Mediation Center of Florida and the Law Offices of Linda Jaffe, P.A. Linda has more than 30 years of extensive experience as a licensed Attorney in the State of Florida and a licensed Assistant State Attorney in Texas. With her specialty in family and marital law, Linda is dedicated to protecting children and helping make the divorce process a smooth and civil matter for everyone involved.

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